The Kind of Courage that Only Comes From Love

By Guest Columnist Stepahnie Hanlon (updated)

There are two people whose example is a lighthouse for me in these times: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela. Because they discovered what many leaders in our modern society never do, yet what many women understand instinctively. They discovered that matching hate with hate does not create peace. Only love can diffuse hate. Not every day love—the protective kind of love, a love so deep that you will stand between the oppressed and the oppressor; a love so deep that you are willing to put all your own safety on the line in order to protect it; a love so deep that it chooses forgiveness as often as possible because they knew that the goal is healing.

Any other path results in bloodshed for all and can lead to generational trauma that haunts future generations, as we see globally right now. It is also the hardest of all the paths. There might actually be nothing harder than opening your heart to someone filled with hate, because you see what they do for that hate, you see their cruelty—sometimes you are in danger—and that is so scary, and it can make us so angry that we treat them the way they treat us. But the thing we all need to understand is that when we take that easier route, we risk becoming like them and perpetuating their ideology. In these times, we need to stay strong-minded, clear-thinking, filled with love in our hearts, but with strong shields, and remember that many of those people with hate in their hearts— that hate started as fear once, a misguided fear, a fear flamed by people in power who benefit from our divisions. But we’ve seen time and time again that people can change, people can do better, each of us can do better. Always monitor your intentions and make sure the scale is tipped with more love for humanity than hate for your assigned enemy.

There is a poem that I keep coming back to right now. It is called You Are Who I Loveby Aracelis Girmay in 2017, but she could have written it today—it’s so relevant. I will share a portion:

“… You are who I love, writing letters, calling the senators, you who, with the seconds of your body (with your time here), arrive on buses, on trains, in cars, by foot to stand in the January streets against the cool and brutal offices, saying: YOUR CRUELTY DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME You are who I love, you struggling to see You struggling to love or find a question You better than me, you kinder and so blistering with anger, you are who I love, standing in the wind, salvaging the umbrellas, graduating from school, wearing holes in your shoes You are who I love weeping or touching the faces of the weeping …”

I believe everyone has a role to play in transformative times such as these. Each of us has different situations, different reserves, different access to community—and we need to leverage our circumstances and abilities in the way that makes the most sense for us. For me, I’m building something different, or trying to: a pocket of love and community right here in Mableton. A place where we can trade with each other, share our excess, and lean on each other in our times of lacking. A place where we can have different opinions and still respect one another. Where we have a moral code that makes sense and is honored and protected. Where we work with the land instead of against it. Where we reduce our reliance on big business and utilities. Where we put our phones down, go outside, and come together once again. I am with all who have the courage to stand up to forces that would like to control and harm us, whether that is in the streets or in the gardens, promoting boycotts using the everyday power of our daily purchases to make change—we each have so much more power than we might realize.

So what am I doing that is inspired by MLK? I’m trying to build an example of another way of doing things, to show that it is possible to love and respect all people, and to have peace, sustainability, and even joy, and that the first step is community. So Yashica Marshall and I started Mableton for Love and Logic, which we hope can empower the community to unite around issues we all can agree on to ensure Mableton is insulated from the chaos around us. I also established the Historic Mableton Trading Post on Mable Street where neighbors can give what they can or take what they need. As I continue on my journey of growing my own food, flowers, and a healthy ecosystem where people, animals, and nature exist in relationships, not in domination. There you will find more information about me and the work I’m doing in my own life that I hope one day will trickle out to all of Mableton and maybe even beyond. I realized something last year when I felt really overwhelmed by everything happening in the country and the world, and while I wanted to make everything better for everyone, I had to accept that I couldn’t fix the world overnight — but I can fix my life overnight, I can build something for my community, and we can start there and keep going.

I’ll leave you with one more line from the poem You Are Who I Love

“… You are who I love, learning English, learning Spanish, drawing flowers on your hand with a ballpoint pen, taking the bus home You are who I love, speaking plainly about your pain, sucking your teeth at the airport terminal television every time the politicians say something that offends your sense of decency, of thought, which is often You are who I love, throwing your hands up in agony or disbelief, shaking your head, arguing back, out loud or inside of yourself, holding close your incredulity which, yes, too, I love—I love your working heart, how each of its gestures, tiny or big, stand beside my own agony, building a forest there How “F$&k you” becomes a love song You are who I love, carrying the signs, packing the lunches, with the rain on your face You at the edges and shores, in the rooms of quiet, in the rooms of shouting, in the airport terminal, at the bus depot saying “No!” and each of us looking out from the gorgeous unlikelihood of our lives at all, finding ourselves here, witnesses to each other’s tenderness, which, this moment, is fury, is rage, which, this moment, is another way of saying: You are who I love. You are who I love. You and you and you are who …”

—with so much love, your neighbor, Stephanie

Guest Columnist Stephanie Hanon is the Co-founder of Mableton Love and Logic and the founder of the Historic Mableton Trading Post