STRAIGHT FROM THE MIKE: Common Sense: Where art thou?

It seems like just yesterday that I can recall the community elders holding their regular summit gatherings to discuss current events. After robust discussions, no session concluded without one of them opining, “Common sense isn’t so common.”

We are confronted with this observation daily as we hear news reports of anything from a parent leaving the car running, or worst, leaving it running with an infant or Fido in the unlocked vehicle, as they run in to buy a lottery ticket or purchase some puff sticks.

Then there is the woman fueling the family car, on the phone, purse on the front seat, doors unlocked, with an open invitation to criminals to freely victimize them.

Let us not forget the unsuspecting person leaving a grocery store or the mall heading to their vehicle – in a zone and often on the phone – instead of looking over their shoulders. How does one spell ‘victim?

Finally, there is the late-night visits, or sometimes even the daytime trips to the ATM – an innocent person – failing to keep their head on a swivel – instead thinking they can obtain money from the machine and insert into their purse or wallet before a weapon can be placed to their back.

When does common sense make an appearance? In the all-important job of keeping ones self-safe, whose job is it? Even though we cannot stop crime from occurring, we should be doing everything we can to stay out of its way and preventing ourselves from becoming its next victim. Are you using your common sense to keep yourselves safe?

I would be remiss if I did not share an ode that sums up so profoundly where we are today. The author is unknown.

Obituary for Mr. Sense

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn’t fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Mr. Sense lost the will to live, as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Until next time…

Michael Murphy